The Super Slut Handbook Vol. 1

Inspired by Ms. Brittney Anne Wessner

Not all women are sluts, but all women hold the potential to have slutty tendencies. The phrase girls just wanna have fun was not pulled out of thin air. It is from thousands of years of work put in by the pioneers of sluttiness sprinkled throughout history. Cleopatra, Catherine the Great and more then likely Barbara Bush are all powerful women who where unbelievably huge sluts. Over the course of what you’ll read here hopefully you’ll come away with a better understanding of sluts and why a few bad apples shouldn’t spoil the bunch…or give them clamydia. I Hope this will help some of you navigate the treacherous waters while partaking in a bit of deap sea slut fishing.

Section 1 : KNOWING HOW TO BAIT YOUR LINE

1. Slut is a very broad term, to be fair there are varying degrees of sluttiness. some women have slutty nights, some women have slutty months and….well some are just straight cock junkies that will devour any dick they can find. These are the ones that give those lower level sluts a worse name. If a girl says to you “I don’t count it if he wears a condom” than chances are shes a wild slam pig and should not be directly compared to the more domesticated species of sluts.

2. Sluts are tricky creatures. But its easier when you have a perspective on which to grade the slut in question, so in order to make these a smooth transition for amatuers i have created THE SLUT SCALE (copryright pending) the scale is from 1-10. 1 being the lowest level a skank and 10 being the end all be all of cum dumpsters.

1. THE “HAVENT YOU BEEN ROOFIED ONE TOO MANY TIMES” SLUT — This is the girl who seems to have never managed to learn how keep her eyes on her drink and gets date raped about 1.6 times a year on average. This is also the girl who the second she is cornered about being able to actually recall some events of the night she was “date raped” suddenly locks up tighter than a frightened butthole. Chances are next time she says someone just took the pussy, its a 50-50.

2. THE “I HATE MEN” SLUT — Ironically this species of sluts are triggered by being in a dedicated relationship and getting her heartbroken by some dumb ass. She then goes on a 1-3 month cock binge to rid herself of all love she possibly has for said dumbass, but a vicous side effect is that these women tend to carry on there hatred for men for years and use it against every guy they see whether he deserves it or not. So when you get close to a girl like this and she suddenly destroys your whole world just like that she probably is a member of this group.

3. THE “REVENGE” SLUT — This brand of hoe is especially mean spirited. The second she feels she has been done wrong, by male or female alike, she will fuck his or her friends, ex boyfriend, the guy you like, your best friend, your relatives etc. etc… this slut has no heart and has sex only for spite…what a waste.

4. THE “GIRLS NIGHT OUT” SLUT — Every girl has atleast one friend sluttier than her, its a mathematic certainty. Some girls just allow their friend to pig out on the dick, while others are occasionally influenced/inspired by there friends “freedom” and take part in her skankish behavior. The main reason a girls night slut is so dangerous is because she has 2-4 witnesses that’ll swear up and down she was being good when in reality she was hanging upside down on a sex swing getting tag teamed by 2 members of the local college football team.

5. THE “IT JUST HAPPENED” SLUT — This is usually someones significant other which makes this category especially savage. This is the skank that will somehow reason that because it just happened and it wasnt planned that shes not really completely at fault [ i.e. alcohol, hormones and the classic “he kissed me and i was scared to say stop so i just went along, what else was i supposed to do?”] this is usually meant to comfort the dude into believing it really did “just happen”. Sorry girls, stubbing your toe just happens, getting hit by gorilla shit at the zoo just happens, putting yourself in the situation to get fucked doesnt just happen, when it “just happens” its usually rape.

6. THE “UNDERCOVER” SLUT — This is the most difficult to identify of all the sluts, her close friends are usually aware of her thirst to chug dick, but outside of her inner circle she is seen as a good girl.This is the slut that you never see coming and thrives on keeping secrets. She normally only lets you smash 7 times at the most before she moves on to find new fresh prey.

7. THE “UUUH WHAT’S SELF RESPECT MEAN??” SLUT — This dumb bitch is generally a likely canidate to be down to be on Girls Gone Wild, she might have a 3.4 GPA but this give this girl 2 shots of tequila and shes ready to suck off the entire Carolina Panthers offensive line through a glory hole in the bar bathroom. She’s the first one ready to party and she’s also the first one sloppy drunk craving a fat dick. If its 12:09 and shes already DTF she’s this species of disgusting skank. She refrains from using condoms because she says shes ” got a good eye for the clean ones ” and because usually shes so smashed she wont feel it otherwise

8. THE “DADDY ISSUE” SLUT — This slut is a showy hollywood kind a bitch. She craves the attention she never got from her absintee/controlling father. She tends to like older guys and she also tends to go for guys that are like her father ironically. This is also the first level of the scale where porn stars and strippers are born, the shittier the father the better they seem to want to be in bed. If the father is still in picture then she most likely picks guys he absolutely hates who ends up getting her pregnant and then abandoning her, funny how that works.

9. THE DOMESTICATED SLAM PIG — This nasty hoe is quite the trickster. This one gets no respect. This female is also in the same family as gold diggers. She will have you payin for her to look all good and her gas and nights out to eat and then on the low under the guise of sleep or working or the oldie but goodie “i’m sick”, she’s out with someones dick deep sea diving in her filthy two timing cum trap. This is one of the worst sluts because she has her own agenda unbeknownst to the guy forking out all the money and when she comes over she looks like she just woke up but that random guy at the club gets the billboard version of this bitch. This girl is usually very easy to spot because she’ll be getting out of that nice ass BMW driven by some nerdy lookin girl pants wearin mother fucker….oh wait thats her man, who she will blatantly flirt in front of with no regard.

10. THE WILD SLAM PIG — This is the Alpha Dog of sluts, she is much rarer than these other sluts, and she is also a virtual STD farm. Her natuaral habitat is Drinky’s in Downtown Easton, PA and she feeds on nothing but dick and free shots. This is the girl that you wanna spit on her pussy to see if it immedietaly evaporates so you dont risk sticking your dick in to a chemical waste hot zone. This wild beast doesnt believe in check ups so chances are she has several STDs that are on a solid rotation, so the night you hit it you better hopes its something curable’s turn to come out and play. This girl is almost certainly a pornstar and/or prostitute, she loves dick from any direction and normally doesnt discriminate, if you get turned down by this slut…well if you cant smash this bitch off you need to read the SUPER PUSSY HANDBOOK over again.

3. Now that you have a way to classify a slut in turn it should be easier for you to now identify a slut, like i said all women are not sluts but they all have that fire inside, its just a matter of if you wanna throw water or gasoline on it. Some sluts are easier to point out than others, if her tits are in her bra and also on her chin, and shes not a fatty, shes a slut. If she grinds her ass on 4 different dudes without looking who it is, shes a slut. If she drinks man drinks shes probably a slut, in turn if she drinks girl drinks shes probably a slut also. If she asks for a shot before she asks your name shes a slut. If she tells sex stories but not names she’s a slut (she more then likely wants to hide the actual number of dicks shes gone bull riding on). These are just a few of the many ways to pinpoint the slut of the bunch.

Section 2 : NAVIGATING THE MURKY WATERS

1. Dealing with sluts can be tricky business. If your a confident guy, and you realize that most women you have to deal with are sluts on one level or another, then you for the most part can handle the outrageous amount of fucked up things sluts manage to pull off to once again outdo themselves. But if your a weaker breed of man your not always epuipped with the tools to bed yourself a bonafide walking talking sperm bank. You generally lack the ability to not instantly fall in love with every new piece of pussy, you lack the knowledge about the philosophy of “Whoever cares less is in control”, and you more than likely can’t eat pussy to save your life and think that fucking for a half hour is “lasting a long time”. Now if you find yourself saying “heeeey that’s me!?!”, then read on junior.

2. Most sluts primarily graze for food at a bar or a night club. Girls arent the only ones who’s judgement is effected by drinking, which seems to be a popular notion amongst females. But sorry ladies, dudes can get shitty enough to be lied to by our eyes and ears. What may look like a normal girl is more then likely a shot induced optical illusion, what your probably looking at is a Wild Slam Pig ready to gore you with her Slut Tusks and leave you for dead or with an empty wallet. To avoid being mauled by the abominable slam swine you need to be on point, if you see the girl smiling at every guy hugging everyone, ignore that bitch. Shes doing her best to create competition over her and you just blowing her off throws a wrench in her plans because now she instantly wants to know why your not bothering with her. You now have a slight upperhand don’t fuck it up, no physical contact and minimal eye contact and conversation. A few smiles to show your not gay is ok if your one of those dudes that wear their sisters really sweet Affliction jeans.

3. Now that you have your primary offensive attack down its time to learn how to counter her moves. Some higher grade sluts are hip to your initial offensive and Dwight Howard your shit to the 13th row. A good counter to this is to simply look her up and down, laugh and then turn around. This will probably drive the slut to petty things like bumping into you or touching your waist as she passes by. This is low contact flirting a typical temptress move. Next time you go up to the bar, and make sure your breath doesnt stink like hot garbage before you do this, make your way right next to her so your face to face and just smile and when she says what say nothing and turn and leave. This oughta drive this slut out of control and also completely divert her attention from the guys fighting over her and onto why does that motherfucker keep smiling at me and walking away.

4. But just like in every aspect in life there are somethings that are easier to attain than others. Ironically the higher grade the slut the more likely you are to be able to slam her cheeks. But when you come in contact with a difficult slut, which is a condradiction in itself but still very real,  you need to make sure your on your A game. It Also depends on the kind of sluts you attract and/or what kind of sluts your attracted to. The more stubborn sluts don’t put out because theyre trying to maintain their morals and ethics, in reality its only to pull you further into the grasp of her Penis Thigh Trap. The longer she dangles it in front of you the more you’ll do to keep it once you get it.

Section 3 : HOW TO GUT A FISH

1. If you’ve fucked your fair share of sluts you know they all have one thing in common. You could be the nicest guy in the world but if you cant fuck she ain’t keepin you around very long. Unlike normal women (HAHAAAA!), sluts put sexual prowess above all other aspects of a relationship. You can have a good job, not beat her ass and own your own car, but if you cant sling dick well then your gonna be on the unemployment line soon kid.

2. Now generally its good to wear condoms, but dental damns are just to much, so you still risk having your lip look like a topographical map. With that being said this is is why it is very important to be able to eat pussy because worst case scenario, atleast you didnt get that bump for no reason. Foreplay is an important part of any relationships but sluts hold it in very high regard. Eating good pussy can turn a whore into a housewife, trust me. Some tips on how to eat slutty pussy are A. Be active with your hands, play with her tits, grab her by her sides, spread her thighs, or the crown jewel… spread her pussy open and just do work on her clit. But dont go to hard, you have to go in degrees in order to grade your sluts pressure levels. Every skank has different vaginal logistics.

3. If eating pussy is the foot in the door, then good dick is like having your own key. Now remember there are such things as girls who like intimate slow sex and nothing more, but im not worried about thosse bitches so just act like they dont exist for now. Sluts occasionally dont mind that nice slow dick but before long shes screaming for you to slam the shit out of her, sometimes literally. For the uneducated a few favorite slut poses are with her legs together on your shoulder while you pretty much have her folded in half pounding her out, then there’s when shes flat on her stomach with her legs together and your on top slamming your dick in her like your attemtping to dig to china, or if you have somewhere to put her on top of [i.e. pool table, computer desk, washing machine] sit her on the edge put your arms under her legs and pick her up a little and grab her by her ass and you pretty much got her hooked.

4. This is where the sex gets way more pornographic. Being good at the fundamentals will get you so far, but its your extra knowledge and ability to perform above and beyond the average mans sexual prowess. Most sluts are the kind of girls who like having there assholes blown out until they have a long pink sock of anal lining slapping off the back of her knees. Some other examples would be the knd who likes to get choked while you finger her pussy and her ass shocker style, or the kind who enjoys a dick and her ass and a dildo in her pussy just so she can say shes been DPed without actually gettin smashed off by 2 dudes. Obviously by now you can tell generally sluts love getting fucked like theyre pornstars. The easiest way to outdo a slut is be better than her in bed.

Section 4 : THE POST FISHING TRIP AFTERMATH/REPERCUSSIONS

1. Now either you have either fucked a slut by now or ya havent. Every seasoned slut hunter knows there is always an aftermath. The reason most of these girls are sluts is because they make terrible girlfriends and theyre emotionally retarded. Once you fuck a girl like this there are 2 possibilities, you never talk to her again or this bitch will somehow interject herself into your life even thought she doesnt wanna be tied down. They will pop shit to your new girlfriend, she will instantly be on your dick the second she sees another girl talk to you but by the end of the night shes gone and you realized you just go cock blocked.

2. Handling sluts can be a delicate process, they are fueled by insecurities and alcohol. The combination of having a fragile psyche and a love for long island ice teas has shaped this species into a dick demolishing, heart hammering evil hell hound. In order to properly handle these bitches you must know a few things, the nicer you are the more fucked up they act, to a slut the grass is always greener on the otherside, and no matter what you do you always fuck something up. Once you understand these things the future actions this slut in question, or any other cum dumpster for that matter, shouldnt shock you much. It’ll definitely piss you off but you cant really get that mad if you saw it coming now can you? So when shes says “Its not you its me” believe that bitch.

3. In an odd turn of events your ability to handle her skankiness might cause said slut to fall for you, if your down for the ride do you kid, but if your unsure here’s what you have to look forward to. One month she loves you the next month she wants to “do her own thing”, she says when you ask questions your “smothering her and pushing her away” which in reality if you care you shouldnt be able to be pushed away, you should have to be hooked to a tow truck and dragged away. You’ll also come to find some sluts are not beyond all help, some sluts actually learn to channel there slut energy and focus on one cock with some consistency. Getting there instinctual skankiness out by going out with there girls and flirting with random strange to turn her on a little or maybe bumpin n grindin with said random strange. These are rare sluts and in the right hands can be turned into a bonafide stand up wifey. with the right amount of patience you mighta found a princess.

I hope this has given you a better understanding of the hunting habits and the psychology of the dreaded wild slam pig. Like everything in this world sluts have there place, which is usually on their back or on their knees, but some sluts do have their heart in the right place even if their head is in some dudes lap. Sluts are people to…well kind of. But still they have rights atleast, mean spiritied sluts should be treated as such, you smash that dirty bitch out, take her to McDonalds for a McDouble with no onions, a McChicken plain and 2 apple pies, drop her off and tell her you’ll call her and complete diregard that bitch and beat her at her own game. But if you happen to run into a good natured more docile species of hoe then enjoy it while it lasts. If you read this and still manage to have trouble grading and managing your sluts than just find yourself a fat girl and settle down, your not built to be sitting at the big boy table just retire.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s